


Habits

by intodust



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Prison World, Angst with a not so happy ending, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Grams is Alive, Kai and Bonnie are the same age, Overbearing sexual tension of vast proportions that is very Unresolved, Sharing a Bed, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, i don't know how to tag, just tension man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-13 06:19:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9110293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intodust/pseuds/intodust
Summary: Growing up together, you would think Bonnie and Kai would've rubbed off on each other by now. But, no, he still wishes the Gemini Coven an excruciating death - except, maybe without Bonnie this would have happened already.





	1. Chapter 1

_She wouldn't let it become a habit._

She had made up an excuse to Caroline and Elena, claiming that her father needed her back home immediately for another infamous family meeting. The pair had barely raised an eyebrow, given their knowledge of her father. She glanced back at them one last time before leaving, the guilt crept up on her more and more.

She just couldn't possibly explain this to them. They would freak out, call her insane, and then give her judgy little looks until she finally cut off all ties she had with the issue.

"It's fine, Bonnie, seriously. Just go before your dad starts setting more town curfews." Elena joked, waving her out of the door. She could only cast an uneasy smile.

_This couldn't become a habit._

She parked her car in front of a large house, the kind you'd see in Ikea commercials and real estate ads, topped with a white picket fence and a porch swing. It was perfect in every sense of the word. Except for the enraged boy storming out of it.

Bonnie inhaled. He looked pissed like he wanted to kill someone without regrets. She unlocked the doors and tried not to look so shocked by his murderous aura. She shouldn't have been surprised by this, she's known him for the most part of her life.

Kai Parker was known for his temper tantrums, especially if his family was involved. Bonnie kept her eyes ahead of her despite Kai's arrival. She flinched as her car door slammed shut. His heavy breathing filled the car.

"I'm going to fucking lose it, Bonnie. I can just _feel it._ " He panted. Bonnie finally looked up at him, red and fuming, and felt a pang of sympathy. This was Kai, the irritating neighbor boy that pulled on her hair from Kindergarten to 8th grade. This was the idiotic young hooligan that tripped her in the hallways on the first day of high school and then forced her into taking him to their first Homecoming dance. It was just Kai.

He was also the only other teenage witch that she knew of. He was fascinated with her Bennett background, given the connections her family had with his coven.

It had started about one month ago, on a particularly dreary night, when Bonnie was in the middle of a lone movie marathon. Kai called her and like an idiot she answered. His breathing was rapid on the receiver and he murmured things that Bonnie couldn't quite make out. The only decipherable thing she could hear was him whispering: "I want to kill them, Bon...I want to kill them."

She ran to his house, finding him in the midst of a breakdown, pacing around his house with a kitchen knife, making threats to no one in particular. She could only stare at the disturbing scene, too afraid to speak up and break this trance he was in. She had never seen his eyes so murderous, his entire personality so cold and detached from the world, as if it were only him and no one else.

" _Motus!"_ She yelled, causing the knife to fly backward out of his hands and into the wall. Kai eyed her angrily at first, then he softened his gaze. He didn't think she'd answer the phone, let alone run over.

"Are you insane?" Bonnie questioned with that judging tone in her voice. Kai recognized it all too well. It was familiar, like a backhand back to reality.

"Bonnie! Thank God." His voice was laced with sarcasm. "Sorry for the inconvenience, but this is a Gemini coven issue and you know how my wonderful family gets." He spoke with his usual giddy spark, but Bonnie could hear the underlying madness of it, the insincere malice behind the faux happiness. Never have they had a relationship where one came to comfort the other, and it would _not_ become a habit, Bonnie said to herself.

That night, Bonnie spent a few minutes comforting him and a whole lot more play fighting and watching movies with him. Any murderous thought that his brain scanned the possibility of vanished as soon as Bonnie smiled at him.

But this night was different, Bonnie could tell. He made her drive until they reached the border of Mystic Falls, an area dominated by large grass fields. She could just make out the 'Welcome To Mystic Falls' sign through the darkness. She parked and stared at him. His jaw locked, she noticed, and his knuckles were turning white from his excessive clenching. He turned to face her, robotically.

"We're nearly out of town, Kai. What the hell happened?" She asked softly, placing her hand on his tense shoulder. She wasn't quite used to making physical contact with him for anything other than inflicting pain. Unknowing of how to handle this situation, she lightly rubbed his shoulder, hoping that it would relieve some of the idiot's stress. However, while she did it, she made it a point not to look into his eyes as she did. He smirked at her awkwardness.

"I hadn't realized we were so close, Bon. We might need friendship bracelets if you keep this up." His eyes swept over her frame once, but it was slow enough to make her blush.

"And to think, I was going to be civilized to you tonight." She rolled her eyes, snatching her hand back.

"Aw, c'mon! I like your hand on me." Kai's hand met with hers on her lap. She sighed, quickly deciding not to fight with him over this. He looked worn out enough. She opened her mouth to ask about it, then abruptly shut it because she knew that talking about it would awaken a new batch of anger in the little sociopath.

"How far were you planning on making me drive?" She asked to divert the conversation. He shrugged, tapping his fingers on top of hers.

"Farther than this. Far enough." He muttered, thoughtful.

"Far enough? What, did you think I'd drive you out of Virginia or something?" She asked, ready to snatch her hand back from his, but he squeezed tight enough to keep her still.

"Would that really be so bad, Bonnie?" He raised his voice this time, pulling her hand towards him. His eyes were begging her to understand, but how could she? How could she understand something that he never tells her about?

"I can't keep doing this, Kai. I can't just leave my friends for this. I can't fix you." She admitted sadly. "I don't even know what's wrong with you. You never tell me anything." She whispered. He hit the dashboard in a fit of anger. She flinched away from him.

"It's not exactly something I like to broadcast to everyone! You don't have to fucking do anything, Bon, I just need you to be here!" He yelled, finally losing his cool.

"What's going on in that house? What did they do to you?"

"Look at me, Bonnie! Can't you see that I'm fine?" His voice quivered. "I've never felt better in my life! I just hate my coven, you've always known that." He hadn't noticed that somehow it was her hand that gripped his now. He snatched it away from hers, but she could see that it was shaking.

"Kai! I'm trying to help you!" She yelled, offended.

"You try to help everyone, Bonnie, but I don't need help." He claimed. It was one of the first times that Bonnie had been truly frightened by Kai Parker. His gimmicks didn't scare her much, neither did his speeches of ruling his coven because she knew that it was all just talk anyway. But now he made her worried for his sanity, it was hanging by a thin strand, she could see the emptiness in his eyes this time. She didn't know how to fix this problem, not like she could concoct a spell to stop his insanity, but she wanted to.

"You know, I'm beginning to like this 'new' me." He smirked. It was more sinister than she had expected. He was changing faster than Bonnie could keep up with. He wasn't just the mean boy with a mild anger management issue, he was a nutcase with a plan to kill. "Careful, Bon, you almost look like you actually care."

The car had trapped her into a frenzy of heat and intensity that she needed to stray from. She unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door to leave. Kai mimicked her actions, walking around the car to meet up with her. She stood there for a moment, back against her tiny, silver Prius, letting the cold winds crash onto her skin. She felt him standing beside her but chose to ignore him - something that she should have done the first time he called her.

"I know I'm gonna regret ever saying this, but...I do care about you, idiot. I grew up with you, I can't not care about you, even if you're a psychopathic asshole." She sighed, trying to look in any direction but his. He snickered.

"I knew it. You can't help but to love me." He smiled. Bonnie reluctantly looked to him standing beside her, eyes lit, arms crossed, and smile contagious. His emotions were on a rollercoaster that she could never keep up with.

"Love? Maybe in your wildest fantasy." She scoffed.

"My wildest fantasy? May I remind you of our freshman Homecoming dance four years ago?" Bonnie groaned, already regretting bringing her feelings into the equation. Kai stood in front of her this time, looking more like the Kai that she recognized. The Kai that purposely pushed her off the swings at recess and then bandaged her up when she landed and scraped her knees on the gravel.

"Please, can we just throw that memory in the trash?" She blushed, covering her face with her hands. He pulled her hands away from her face, instead intertwining them with his at their sides.

"No, no, no, no. We're taking this story to the grave, Bonster. If I remember correctly, it was _you_ who dragged _me_ into the janitor's closet and _you_ who initiated that steamy make-out session." Kai smiled to himself.

"Steamy? You bit my lip and I started bleeding! Let's not forget that awkward head butt in the beginning. The entire night was a disaster." Bonnie reminisced. She really couldn't let this become a habit with him, strolling down memory lane. Kai nodded, taking the opportunity to step in closer to her.

"Maybe it was just...bad timing." His eyes burned into hers. She looked up at him.

"It was bad everything. I wasn't even in my right mind, someone spiked the punch." She defended. He laughed, shifting his hand placement to her waist. She inhaled sharply, unprepared for his gentle touches.

"That would be me. To be fair, I didn't think you'd start chugging it down like that." And just like that, she pushed him away from her again. He could always find a way to ruin the moment. If they could even classify that as a moment.

"Idiot! I knew it!" She kicked his leg as he chuckled and backed away from her. "But seriously, Kai." She hesitated before speaking. "Do you..." She had begun to ask him if he needed a place to crash but then reassessed the risky question in her mind. That was a set up for disaster. Kai squinted at her as she tried to gather a new question in her head. "Do you want me to drop you off somewhere?" She finally asked. He nodded.

"Is Rudy home?" He asked.

"Yes, but you wouldn't be invited even if he wasn't."

"Ouch." He absently glanced down at his hands, checking his fingernails. She rolled her eyes.

"I'll drop you off at Tyler's house. He told me all about your unexpected visits." She told him. Tyler had cornered her beside the lockers on a Tuesday, complaining about Kai, as if she knew what to do with him. Tyler and Kai had never been close friends or friends at all, but they did have one thing in common: their irrational anger at nonsensical things. They could relate on that level, but never enough to have sleepovers. Tyler didn't mind Kai, mostly because if anyone knew about family troubles it was him. His only request is that he only came during emergencies. He claimed that the house was too big for just himself, so the company wasn't always too horrible, even if it was an aggravated Kai ranting about murder.

"I only go to Tyler when I can't reach you. He's more like an...unfortunate last choice. And since I'm definitely not going home, I'm going wherever you're going." He smiled like the little bastard he is.

"Kai! I already lied to Elena and Caroline about this. You know how hard that is for me and I can't just continue to -"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bonnie is guilty. What else is new? Let's go." He raced back to the car to the passenger seat.

She released a heavy sigh before following him into the car.

* * *

The pink neon sign emitted a vibrant glow that glimmered from Bonnie's eyebrows to her top lip. Kai's full attention was aimed at her eyes, how much brighter they were in the glare from the sign. He never thought like this, like he wanted to snap a Polaroid of Bonnie, and he wouldn't make a habit of it.

They were parked outside of a very modern ice cream shop just outside of Mystic Falls and Bonnie was arguing on the phone. The sign illuminated a large pink ice cream cone with neon blue ice cream on top of it. Inside, no one seemed to be working, so it wasn't like they could just walk inside and order a sundae.

Well, In Kai's mind they could. Breaking in wouldn't be that much of a problem, but he figured that Bonnie would reprimand him for even thinking of it. _The saint._

"Dad, I'll be back in the morning, I swear." She groaned. Kai poked her cheek. "No, there aren't any boys here." She glared at Kai. His finger poked at her neck now, encouraging her to flick it away, like a bug that wouldn't leave her alone. "Okay. Okay...okay! Bye, dad." She hung up the phone before he could reply. Kai smirked at her.

"I think I'm a good influence on you." He commented. Bonnie started the engine.

"You owe me, Kai." She said. Kai nodded. He just couldn't believe that she had agreed to take him on a trip out of Mystic Falls. "You owe me so fucking much." She muttered as she began driving further away from her hometown.

"And I fully intend on repaying you, Bon." He boasted, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"I _hate_ you."

"You _wish_."

His plan was still unclear, all he knew was that he couldn't leave Bonnie behind. Of course, he had to make up some bullshit to her, saying that he knew some great places out of Mystic Falls that she could take him to. The only time he's been out of Mystic Falls was to go to Portland for a coven meeting. For all he knew they were headed straight into the fiery pits of Hell. But he didn't care. As long as Bonnie was there to keep him company.

Currently, they were passing through the heavily wooded areas of Virginia, where all that the eye could see was a narrow road. Kai fought with Bonnie about the radio station. Bonnie purposely gave up the fight, but she knew that if she really wanted to, they'd be listening to Katy Perry the entire ride.

"If you had to pick - Elena or Caroline?" He asked. Bonnie rolled her eyes, trying her hardest not to swerve into a tree and kill them both.

"Stupid question." She muttered. He nodded, picking a candy bar from his jacket pocket.

"I know, I shouldn't have even asked. It's definitely Caroline, right?" He guessed, starting to unwrap his treat. Bonnie gripped her steering wheel. "I mean, Elena's just all over the place. _'I love Matt, no wait, I love Stefan, no wait, I love Damon_ '. Like, make up your mind, lady. Ugh, that's gotta be annoying. And then she gets kidnapped like every other week, so...there's that. I don't see how you do it, Bonnie, honestly. I salute you." He rambled as he chewed his candy bar. Bonnie didn't comment, she didn't have to explain herself to him.

"I have a better one. A building is engulfed in flames. No one is around and the Salvatore brothers are trapped in said building. Your magic is running low, you only have enough to save one of them. Do you save Damon or Stefan?" He asked. She perked up.

"You do realize that this already happened, right?"

"But it was only Damon. Plus, Elena was there. But if it was now, what would you do?" He continued on with the questionnaire. Bonnie sighed, almost considering answering him. How could she pick one, knowing that her best friend loves the both of them? No, she could never. But if it was down to it...she had a name in mind. Kai guessed it. "It's Stefan, right? I feel the same way. Damon is annoying, he should've died ages ago. Feel free to tell Elena that." He chuckled.

"How about we change the subject to - oh, I don't know, why you decided to leave Mystic Falls," Bonnie suggested. He knew that it was coming.

Well, it was a good a time as any.

"Coven drama. Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head over." He put simply. Bonnie opened her mouth to yell at him, but a piece of chocolate bar stifled the words from her mouth. She groaned at Kai, chewing her way through the treat to try and talk. "You know that I was born a siphoner." He began. Bonnie nodded along. "And I'm sure you know that my father resents me." He paused.

Bonnie tried to pay attention to the road ahead of her, but she knew that this moment was rare. They didn't have moments like this. She shifted to the side of the road and came to a slow halt. "Only because you got drunk and told it to me at the Decade Dance."

"Not my best moment. Tequila and I do not mix." He joked, trying to smile. Bonnie only raised an eyebrow. "Alright," He pulled up his sleeves, revealing his arms to Bonnie. "There's a reason I usually go for longer sleeves. Pretty messed up, huh?" There were multiple bruises aligned up his left arm. "Happened a few days ago. I wanted to do this cool spell I read about - you know, with the invisibility. I siphoned a bit from Jo, it wasn't a big deal, not like I forced her into it. But dad found out anyway and...well, he did what he does best: finds creative new ways to torture me." Kai reminisced. His father had been way more brutal than the bruises he decided to show Bonnie, but he didn't want her to think he was that weak.

Their eyes met. She couldn't see anything more than a little boy desperate to run away from his troubles. She wanted to set him on fire for never telling her this. She wanted to cry because she couldn't imagine Kai Parker so utterly vulnerable, so human. Before she could back out of it, her hand reached into his.

"How long has this been happening, Kai?"

"18 years. And it was going to stop tonight. I would've gotten real magic tonight, had you not gotten to the house so quickly." He admitted. She frowned.

"You weren't gonna..." She trailed off, giving him a particularly judgy look. He snatched his hand from hers.

"Bonnie, they've been screwing me over for years! They don't care about me, they treat me like shit. Like, what functional family keeps having children, in hopes of getting another set of twins, just so their 'defective' son doesn't get to rule the almighty coven? They don't care!" He yelled.

Bonnie had known about the Gemini Coven ritual since she was a child. It's barbaric, is what her Grams would say. She agreed. She couldn't even imagine having to live her life normally with the knowledge that she'll either have to die or kill her twin when she's 22. They never talked about it exclusively. In fact, they ignored it altogether.

For a moment there she almost could forget. She knew he couldn't.

"Kai, if you had done that...I would've had to kill you. You know that?" She said, ignoring the sudden mist in her eyes. He just stared. "It would have to be _me_ and even though I always threaten to kill you, _I can't kill you, Kai_." She admitted. He gave a thoughtful look.

"Why not?" He pushed.

She sighed, running a frustrated hand through her short-cropped hair. "Would you be able to kill me?"

There was a pause, one so palpable and lingering that neither of them could deny the tension that the simple question offered. He could imagine it under different circumstances. Perhaps, if they had never met before today he could easily see it. If the two hadn't grown around each other, if they hadn't spent years figuring out the others faults, hadn't spent so much time getting used to the other...maybe he'd consider it. But even then, he thought, there was no way he'd ever think of permanently ridding the world of Bonnie Bennett.

"Touché."

Neither of them said anything for a moment. They stared at the road in front of them, only breathing. Bonnie took that time to wonder. She wondered if she was the reason that he hadn't completely lost the plot and killed his family. If he thought of her in order to stay calm. And maybe that was the reason he had called her that one night. Maybe he really needed her, even if it was only for her to call him names and threaten him.

Kai wondered why he had never tried to kiss her again after the Homecoming dance. It's not like he hadn't tried to, but wherever he went, she avoided. She ignored him for months and then started having a fling with Jeremy Gilbert. He hated the little stoner prick. She deserved better than that, he thought. The day that he cheated on her for his dead girlfriend, Kai paid him a satisfying visit. Satisfying for Kai, at least. Bonnie had scolded him for bruising up Jeremy's face, but he never regretted it, especially when she reluctantly thanked him for defending her honor. God knows no one else was. Elena was fuming about it, which made him even happier. That was a great day.

"You're gonna be alright, Kai." She broke the silence. "I won't let him hurt you again." She promised. He groaned.

"Oh, God. Bonnie, no, just...stop. I don't need your witchy help with this. I know you think you have to fix everything, but thankfully this is none of your business. Let me handle my own problems." He told her. She hit his arm. "Ouch?"

"The only thing you were handling was a kitchen knife! You need me." She smiled then. He glared at her for a moment, then he caved.

"Ugh. You know, I hate when you do that." He complained.

"What? Tell the truth?"

"Make it your life's mission to save everyone, even if your life is in turmoil." She didn't miss his pointed look. She would hardly say that her life was currently in turmoil. She was healthy, happy, and finally clean from expression magic.

"I do what I can for the people I care about. Unfortunately, you're one of them. So shut up about it." She scolded. Kai smirked, feeling himself grow an even more prominent attraction to Bonnie.

"I like aggressive Bonnie. She's got a conviction." Kai said. She hit his shoulder.

"Shut up!" Then, she started up the car once again and took off.

* * *

 

Thirty minutes.

Thirty minutes of Kai's incessant ranting about which television star would win in a fist fight. Thirty minutes of Kai showcasing to Bonnie his 'best impressions', which only happened to be Batman. Thirty minutes of Kai Parker being _disgustingly_ Kai Parker.

She nearly pulled the steering wheel.

"How does anyone last a day without killing you?" She muttered.

"I like to think it's my charming personality. Ha, kidding. It's definitely my face. I mean, have you seen me?" He winked.

"Unfortunately." Her foot slanted harshly towards the gas pedal, whipping Kai's head back into the seat. She smiled.

* * *

The next hour wasn't as horrible as she expected. Once Kai had come down from his candy high he was slightly easier to talk to.

"I'm telling you, Bon, it's 'phesmatos abeo'. I've studied this for years."

"So? It's wrong. Phesmatos abeo will only cloak the second person, 'phesmatos evanesco' will cloak the both of you." She explained confidently.

"But if you pronounce that shit wrong, you could just end up making the second person vanish, probably never to be found again. Remember the case of Ictus vs Peritia?"

"Oh, don't go pulling out old witch history on me!"

"Because you know that I'm right. Ictus was reckless with his powers and ended up sending Peritia to purgatory when all he wanted was to save her life. The irony is fun."

"Shut up."

* * *

Time check." said Bonnie. Her tiny legs had to work overtime to catch up to Kai's long strides down the unfamiliar sidewalk. The car was parked a couple blocks down because there were no parking spaces where Kai said that they needed to go. It was somewhere that Bonnie didn't recognize and he wouldn't dare tell her.

"Eleven after midnight. What are you so skittish about?" He asked. Luckily, he thought, where they were going would definitely loosen her up.

"Oh, I don't know. It's not like I'm in an area that I know nothing about after midnight when my father is expecting me to be back home in the morning. Oh, God, what if he calls Elena? He'll never trust me again." She stressed. Kai hit her shoulder. " _Hey_!"

"It's time to face the facts, Bon. You're a teenager. Be a teenager." He announced. Bonnie frowned, staring at her surroundings. It wasn't a bad neighborhood, she could tell from the cleanliness of the streets and expensive outlet stores on every corner. Sparkling lights hung around the section of trees in the middle of the street. Everything about it was a breath of fresh air. However, Bonnie learned to never judge a book by its cover.

"But I'm not a normal teenager." She complained. They came to a sudden halt. Kai turned to his right, looking upon the cluster of buildings ahead of them that Bonnie was ignoring. She followed the direction of his stare and gaped.

It was a club, she realized now. There was nothing too fancy about it, besides the large glowing red lights spelling out 'CTRL'. Who did these people think they were, a keyboard? The entrance was merely a large door with no security to hold them back. She could feel the bass from the music pumping into her body already and they weren't even inside.

"Tonight, you're a normal teenager." He smirked. Bonnie could have killed him.

"Let me get this straight. You dragged me all the way out of Mystic Falls, out of my car, and three blocks away to go to a club?" She questioned.

"Seems like it. Alright, let's go." He started to walk in. Bonnie held him back by his arm.

"Hold it! You know how uncomfortable I feel at parties." She tried to milk the 'defenseless, introvert' Bonnie approach.

"Oh, yeah? Is that why you drank all the liquor at Homecoming?" He laughed. She began hitting him again, but he continued. "Oh! And the table dancing with Caroline on her birthday? Real classy, Bon Bon." He tried to get a grip of her tiny, furious fists. "What happened to the girl who got trashed at public events?" He asked. She stopped herself from fighting him, tired now. She sighed.

"She grew up. She realized that there's more to life than going to parties and acting completely ditsy to get cute boys." She explained. He nodded once.

"Like...almost dying on multiple accounts, getting manipulated by a deranged professor, and nearly killing yourself every few weeks? Or, were you referring to something else?"

"The more you talk, the more I hate you, so go ahead, keep ranting."

"You know what I mean, Bon. C'mon, it could be fun." He presented her with one of his puppy dog eyes that he thought made her succumb to his charms. Really, it made her want to punch him. Even if his lips looked so desirable when he puckered them like so.

And his eyes looked shined like - no, what is she thinking?

"Fine. But only because I don't feel like walking back to the car."

"Atta girl." He smacked her back in a swift hit, which she countered with a kick to the leg.

* * *

 

"This isn't a club, is it?"

"Nope."

"Thanks for the warning, Satan."

"There'll be time for complimenting me later, Bonster."

Never confuse a well-distinguished rave for a low-end club. Bonnie had learned her lesson. People crowded the large, warehouse-like space with glow sticks and neon colors. The music was fast paced, booming through the system like thunder, yet they continued on, drinking and dancing without a care in the world. Kai pulled her further inside. Black lights lined the circumference of the room. Overhead, girls danced in shorts and light up bras. Bonnie unconsciously pressed herself closer to Kai as the large crowd started getting entirely too friendly with her. He led her towards the back, a much quieter area, but still loud nonetheless. Multiple benches lined the walls, so they both took a seat.

"I'm not drinking." She stated as she watched some blonde fall down on her ass, laughing.

"No one asked you to."

"And I refuse to dance." Just seeing the offbeat mess happening had her embarrassed to even consider the thought.

"You're in charge of your own decisions."

"And if you even think for a single withering, pathetic moment of my being here that I will make myself glow in any way, shape or form, you're sadly mistaken, Malachai."

"Totally understand." He smiled.

"So, you get it?"

"Got it."

"Good."

* * *

She was on her fifth drink and everything was hilarious. She lacked the sobriety to punch Kai square in the jaw for placing his hands on her waist as they danced, so what she did was laugh hysterically and throw her glow sticks at him. In the early drinking stages, she understood her limits. So, as of now, she understood more than ever that she was in her second stage of drunk!Bonnie.

The first stage is always cutesy. She's more openly flirtatious with people of the male variety. This proved to be true once she began trying to interact with Kai.

_"You almost look halfway decent in this lighting, Bon," Kai commented once they were at the bar. Bonnie smirked at him, casting him a sultry wink. She owned the aura of confidence already inside of her and projected it into a different light. His head tilted like a dog._

_"I look great in any lighting, Malachai." Sashayed past him, giving him a once over as she did so. Kai released a shaky breath as he watched her._

She knew that she was officially screwed once Kai told one of his sadistic jokes and she actually laughed. Even now, as he tried to get more touchy-feely than usual, she couldn't help but laugh like a child. It was hilarious that he seriously thought that she'd allow him to start feeling her up just because she was drinking. She couldn't take it.

"I...I'm not really seeing what's funny!" He yelled over the music. She chuckled, patting his cheeks with her hands.

"Oh, you're so funny, Kai! If I weren't so buzzed, I'd burn your hands off!" She exclaimed. Groaning, he pushed away from her to dance with other people. He figured she'd have to get out of the laughing stage at some point. And she did. After her ninth drink, she finally landed onto the seductress stage. Kai was hoping she wouldn't, simply for the reason that there were plenty of creeps just waiting until he wasn't around so they could take advantage of her.

Boy, could the girl hold her liquor, though.

It was still Bonnie, still opinionated, values still waved obnoxiously in the atmosphere around her, and she still created ways to insult him every few minutes. She was just...more sexually driven. Not that Kai hadn't enjoyed every second of it.

He danced with her. It was the best decision of his life.

Having Bonnie in front of him, swirling her hips in movements he thought were only possible to Shakira, it was better than the death of his entire coven. Almost.

He reached a hand out to pull her closer to him, but she playfully smacked it away. He groaned.

"If you can't learn to keep your hands to yourself, I'll find someone who can." She laughed with just the tiniest hint of rasp. He was forced to keep his distance from her as she stood in front of him, grinding, dutty wining, and enjoying herself. He couldn't help but smile with her.

Until another man sauntered up and decided that it was okay to dance with her.

Bonnie accepted his request, getting closer to him than she had done with Kai. He hated the blonde asshole already.

The redness in his eyes reached his face, down to his clenched fists. The man gripped her waist, keeping her secure in his grip as if he had the right to be possessive. Kai's left eye startled him with an uncontrollable twitch.

"Hey, Bonnie!" He yelled. Either she didn't hear him or she was ignoring him. The blonde's hand wandered farther down her waist. He didn't quite know why he was getting that feeling back, the same feeling he was having right before he called Bonnie that night. Why was this making him so upset?

"Bonnie!" He yelled, louder this time. She looked over her shoulder at him and mouthed 'shut up' before returning to her dance.

He released a tense sigh. His insides felt like explosives were firing off. It was hot suddenly and he could only see Bonnie laughing as she danced with the guy. As if they had a history together, as if they had known each other since they were children.

It took her years to even smile at him!

In a moment of heat, he ripped her away from the guy by her arm. She cried out, feeling the deep burning sensation through her bones of magic being snatched from her body, her essence being stolen.

Kai's hand shot out, curling into a fist towards the man. His eyes widened, surprised as he choked and fell to the ground screaming and grunting. Only a handful of people realized that the man was in pain, those of which knelt down beside him trying to help. Bonnie's screams were doing nothing in getting Kai to stop hurting her.

"KAI!" She screamed. He released his hold on her, immediately snapping out of whatever trance he was in. She stared the spot he held her, shocked.

"You fucking psycho!" She pushed him out of the way and raced towards the doors.

She knew they should have never gone into that place.

"Bonnie, stop!" He called after her. She sped back down the block from the club. He just had to act like an insane person as soon as she began having the slightest bit of fun. "Bonnie!" He yelled, running to catch up to her.

As if he hadn't done enough. Yes, they danced, and they talked and had genuine laughs with one another, but as soon as she dances with someone else he loses his mind. It had been a good couple hours, allowing herself to break some tension. Now, she just couldn't wait to go home.

He caught up to her, then gripped her shoulder. She paused.

"I'm...I don't know what happened back there, I -"

She spun around. "You siphoned my magic! That's what happened!" she yelled. Kai appeared shocked, frazzled even. He didn't know what to say because he didn't know what had come over him.

"I didn't try to! That guy had his...filthy hands all over you. You think I was going to let that happen?"

"It's called dancing!" She argued. How could he not understand how she felt?

"If that's how the kids are doing it these days." He muttered, looking off to the side.

"Oh, great. I have to suffer the consequences because you constantly get jealous. Typical." She said. If it wasn't Damon, it was Matt, or Jeremy, or Luka, or any guy she ever tried to date in her entire life. He was just always there to intervene in some way. She could just hear Caroline's voice now: _"I'm telling you, Bonnie, Kai totally has the hots for you. How can you not see it? He's always fighting guys over you. Plus, he stares at you for, like, a creepy amount of time. Like Stefan and Damon with Elena."_

"Jealous? I don't feel that emotion. Call it irritation."

"I'm leaving, Kai." She decided.

"You're drunk. I doubt you could explain this to your dad, let alone drive anywhere."

"I'll walk!"

"Stop being so goddamn stubborn! C'mon."

"No! I can't believe I helped you! I can't believe I thought that this was appropriate in the first place. We're not in a relationship, we're not friends, we're barely enemies. I just...I can't be around you right now." She whispered the last part to herself, but Kai could still hear her loud and clear.

"Bon. I said I'm sorry. Why are you doing this to me?"

"I was the only one who believed that there was a sliver of good in you." She huffed mockingly, careful not to let the sob out.

"No, no, no, stop talking like that." He grabbed her face in his hands, making her look up at him. "You know me. You know you can't change me, not completely. You know that I didn't mean to do that. Right?"

She shook her head.

"Let me go."

"Bonnie, you know that I'm sorry! Tell me that you know that!" He became frustrated with her. He hadn't siphoned from her in almost five years, it was surprising that he slipped up so terribly.

"I have to get home and explain everything. I can't stay here with you and -"

"Bonnie! Listen to me!" He yelled. She flinched out of his grasp. He hated himself for scaring her like so, but she was a big girl. She could take whatever he threw at her. Or so he thought.

"I get it, Kai. I get it, just...give me some time to process. The world is still spinning." She responded quietly.

"We should, uh, get rooms to stay in."

"Right."

* * *

Bonnie texted Caroline, leaving little to no information except that she needed to be picked up in a few hours from the address of the motel. She had to ignore the frantic texts and calls from both Caroline and Elena to avoid admitting the horrible truth that she had lied about her location to be with Kai Parker, the most openly hated guy in all of Mystic Falls.

The walls were a dusky, lifeless gray. There only stood a decent sized mattress in the room, equally as dim, with a small pathetic looking dresser beside it. No lamp. No television. She wasn't even sure it was safe to lie down. It was all she could afford with the little money she brought along.

Kai had apologized thirty times over in the five minutes it took them to find the motel. It was almost endearing, if not perpetually annoying. She realizes that his intentions were good, albeit misguided, but that's how he's always been. Misguided.

He knocked three times. She considered pretending to be asleep.

Three times more. She realized he didn't care if she were asleep or not, so she opened the door.

"Couldn't sleep." Was his excuse as he barged in.

As much as she wanted to kick him out, she no longer had the energy. She remained completely stoic as he closed the door behind him and dragged her towards the bed. He lied sideways, then pulled Bonnie into him, directing her body into doing the same. He wrapped his arms around her torso and pressed his face into her neck. Her stiff body slowly began to relax the more he cuddled into her.

"I'm sorry, Bon." He whispered in her ear as she began falling asleep. She still said nothing, just let him hug her to sleep. His lips hovered around her neck, nipping at the fiery skin occasionally and leaving apologetic open-mouthed kisses here and there. She let him. He needed it more than she did.

The next morning, she had slipped out of his arms and raced downstairs where an angry Caroline was waiting in her car. Bonnie jumped into the passenger seat trying to avoid her friend's judging eyes. The sun had barely risen yet, so thankfully when Bonnie's motel door opened, Caroline could just barely make out who it was. She narrowed her eyes at Kai as he tried to speed down the stairs to catch up with her.

"Could you step on it?" Bonnie asked, eyes downcast.

Caroline nodded and sped out of the parking lot back on the road towards Mystic Falls.

"You know, I was fully prepared to yell at you this morning, but...you look like you've been through enough." She said. Her friend had large, dark circles underneath her eyes and a small hickey on the side of her neck. "Will you at least tell me who's the guy you ditched us for?"

"No one important." She force closed the conversation by shutting her eyelids and leaning into the window. Caroline sighed. She couldn't wait to report back to Elena to investigate this mystery man that Bonnie is making a habit of seeing all the time. He had to be someone who she cared about if he had her looking this heartbroken.


	2. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You would think Bonnie and Kai would've killed each other by now based on their childhood experiences. You would think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive. This chapter was sitting in my notes for a long time and I'm sorry. Don't yell at me, I'm trying my best.

Kai couldn't sleep with the copious amount of guilt eating away at him. He stayed awake for the most part and tried not to feel creepy as he stared at Bonnie sleeping in his arms. She would never admit it, but she snored like a grown man which shouldn't have been as endearing to him as it was. Sometimes her brows would furrow as if she's upset with something in her dreams. Then, she'd relax back into his arms and a fresh look of contentedness transformed her features into something much more innocent. It was a look that Kai could only recall from memories of their childhood - when he wasn't pulling her hair, of course. When she was with Caroline on the swingset talking about God knows what, he remembered such a serene look on her face. She had no worries at all, aside from him making it his job to irritate her any chance he got. At some point in the night, she had rolled over and wrapped her arms around him. He had to adjust to the literal hug that they were sharing, but he didn't complain - not even as her hair splayed out in every direction and tickled his face or as his arm fell asleep under her torso. Eventually, he fell asleep, but he wishes he didn't.

He didn't quite know what to feel as he watched Bonnie practically sprinting away from him the following morning. He thought his point had clearly gotten across the night before. He thought they were on better terms. She let him cuddle with her in bed, lace their fingers together, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, kiss her neck. Why would she lead him on like that?

He didn't want to stress about it so much, but there seemed to be nothing else to do. She left him. It's not like he had enough money on him, either. He was stranded. All he felt now was anger, anger at himself, anger at Bonnie, and anger at Caroline for assisting her in ditching him. He knew Caroline had never liked him, not since preschool. It was either Caroline or the other annoying friend, Elena, there to stop him from spending time with her. He never trusted them, especially not after they spread rumors in middle school about him killing woodland creatures for fun. No one sat next to him again until 10th grade.

He wandered around the motel parking lot now, praying that one of the losers who had parked their car had been dumb enough to leave it unlocked. In the back of his mind, Bonnie scolded him, wearing that judging frown that could make the most innocent of men feel guilty.

Luckily, she wasn't around to see, so he had no room in him for crap like guilt. 

He approached a jeep with an excited gleam in his eyes. And with no Bonnie around to tell him not to, he opened the door and slid into the driver's seat. With a flick of siphoned magic from his fingers, the car roared to life, instantly blasting a country music station. Kai cringed and turned the station into something a bit more nineties grunge. There was just something about driving through the city limits in a jeep, listening to Three Days Grace, and plotting the ultimate demise of his best frenemy's friends that made him all giddy and warm on the inside. 

He thought about calling her phone to apologize for what he did and for what he will do, but he had more self-control than that. Got to make her sweat it out a little bit, quite like she did to him in seventh grade. The memory came back bitterly to the forefront of his mind.

\------

_It was the seventh grade and they were all together in science class. There were twelve tables of twos in the classroom, three in each row. Elena and Caroline sat in the middle row gossiping about how cute they both thought Matt was instead of paying attention to their teacher assigning lab partners. Bonnie sat with Tyler at the table in front of him and she was laughing hysterically. Kai rolled his eyes. Tyler's eyes were so focused on the ginger in the front row that he hadn't seen the obvious flirtation tactics that Bonnie was using._

_The seat beside him was empty. He wished it were because someone had been absent and not because Caroline had spread a rumor that he killed wilderness creatures for fun._

_She wasn't far off, he thought, but it was still rude to go telling everyone his business._

_The teacher was announcing lab partners for some bullshit project that Kai knew he would never even start on._

_"Elena and Tyler," their teacher announced. Hearing Elena's groan of distaste brought a smile to his face. Tyler looked just as irritated, if not angry. Kai folded his hands on his desk, suddenly interested in his school for once. Bonnie's face fell as Tyler stood up to go sit beside Elena. Caroline had been partnered with some other blonde know-it-all that the class didn't need._

_Bonnie's shoulders tensed once he began staring at her. He smirked as he balled up a piece of loose leaf, then threw it in her hair. She turned, glaring._

_"Stop it." She whispered angrily. He smirked._

_"Oh, I'm sorry, is that annoying?" He asked. "As annoying as you giggling at everything Tyler says? Not even close."_

_"Bonnie...Malachai. Anything you'd like to share with the classroom?" Their teacher asked in a shrill voice. Kai only grew more amused, seeing as Bonnie looked like she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Most of the class turned to both of them like they were expecting some sort of show. Elena and Caroline were practically out of their seats looking ready to come to her rescue._

_"Sorry, Ms. Wells." Bonnie immediately turned back around. Ms. Wells began listing off names again. Kai smiled to himself._

_"Sweet little Bonnie," He whispered, knowing that she'd hear him. "Scared of disobeying rules. Scared of being anything other than what Ella and_ Coroline _taught you to be. Frigid. Tolerant." He kept his voice relatively low. Bonnie's fists clenched. "You know, maybe that's why Tyler doesn't like you. You ever think of that? He usually goes for more carefree girls, like Matt's disgusting sister. You're probably an annoying little brat to him, so stuck up and mean and_ bitchy _." He continued antagonizing her until she cracked._

_"_ Fuck you, Kai _!" She yelled, turning towards him in a fit of rage. The classroom gasped and grew quiet._

_"Since it seems you two are so close, I'm sure you'll be even closer in detention together." Ms. Wells finalized. Bonnie gasped. Kai kept a smug look on his face, even as Bonnie and her pack of friends were glaring at him._

_He was happy that day, especially since he knew it would be easier to annoy Bonnie. He would pinch her thigh when she was concentrated on taking notes through detention. Then, when she tried to retaliate he'd make an over-exaggerated moaning noise that would get her to stop. Everything was going well until one day Caroline and Elena ganged up on him after class. They thought they were intimidating._

_"If you don't leave Bonnie alone, we'll tell everyone what type of guy you really are." Elena threatened. He shrugged._

_"Go ahead. I don't even think you know what type of guy I 'really am'." He chuckled to himself._

_"You're Satan! And you will not continue to harass our Bonnie. We'll make sure that you're never near her ever again. The most you'll see of Bonnie is the back of her head." Caroline added in._

_"Oh, I think I like that idea, Bubbles," He smirked suggestively. It took Caroline a few seconds before she finally let out an,_ 'ew, Kai!' _. He just chuckled to himself and walked away._

_He didn't actually think that the two were serious. For the next following weeks, he was lucky to even see a glimpse of her as he walked down the hallway, seeing as they manipulated the teachers to have Bonnie seated in the furthest desks from himself. By the time he did see her again, she had a boyfriend and the Powerpuff duo oozed smugness. He never forgave them ever since._

\---

Bonnie inspected the foreign splotch of purple and red hues on the side of her neck. It was just above her collarbone, the perfect place to be seen by the entire town. She had vaguely remembered him making it and she almost wished that she were in her right mind that night, maybe she would've slapped sense into him and made him walk back into his designated motel room. She felt the need to thank the heavens that her father hadn't seen it when she walked in the house that day. Unfortunately, Caroline and Elena had noticed it instantly. Feminine intuition, they called it.

It had been her last encounter with Kai Parker in days. She hadn't seen him around the school or in town, not even around his house. She wondered if he actually ran away, started a new life. It was bothering her more than she'd ever like to admit, especially since none of his siblings seemed to care. She ran into Jo at the supermarket the other day asking about him and his twin all but rolled her eyes. Next, she walked into the sophomore hallway to interrogate Dennis about his older brother, but he showed even less interest than Jo and brushed past her to get to class. She was about to stoop so low as to find little Luke and Olivia and question them instead. She had to face the facts: out of Mr. Parker, Mrs. Parker, Jo, Henry & Dennis, Rachel & Alissa, Luke & Olivia - she was the only one who genuinely cared about him.

She had tried her hardest not to make interacting with him a habit. Now, she checks he phone for missed calls from him like a second nature. But he never called. She figured he thought she needed space after what happened that night. It had been five days. She didn't appreciate all the space he was giving her, she finally admitted to herself.

"Bonnie, are you okay?" Caroline asked. She snapped out of her trance and returned to earth. Caroline and Elena sat in front of her with similarly concerned facial expressions. Right, she was at Caroline's house for their sleepover night, she couldn't space out anymore.

"I'm fine," she replied. The duo gave her raised eyebrows.

"Really? Because ever since that night -" Elena began. Bonnie held a hand up, shushing her.

"I'm fine."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Kai...would it?" Caroline asked, looking as if she already knew the answer. Bonnie groaned. Of course, they had found out. Those two couldn't mind their own business if it were their jobs. 

"Guys, just leave it alone," she stood from Caroline's bed. Elena and Caroline followed suit.

"Why wouldn't you tell us?" Elena asked.

"Because you wouldn't understand." She replied. She loves them to death, but the two of them have said so many horrible things about Kai Parker in the last dozen years. It has always been exceptionally difficult being friendly-ish with Kai while in the presence of Caroline and Elena, as they both would throw dirty, judgy looks her way. Most of the school had something out for Kai and if Bonnie was being honest, it was because Elena and Caroline would bad-mouth him to anyone who just so happened to pass by. Bonnie was by no means innocent to making Kai out to be a bad guy in front of large groups of people, but her friends' intentions were driven by pure hatred and desire to drive him out of their school forever. Kai was far too stubborn and unbothered to consider leaving because of some nasty things said about him, but that never stopped her friends. And she understood that they were only defending her, but at some point, they have to trust that she can deal with that problem herself, she's been through far worse.

"That's not true."

"You both hate Kai! And I know you think that I should hate Kai too, which I do _sometimes_ , but...I don't. It's complicated and difficult and stupid, but I have a soft spot for the evil son of a bitch." She tried to explain. Elena gave her a look. 

"Bonnie, we understand that you feel... _close_ to Kai, given your history. I mean, we were all in preschool together. And you're his neighbor! But, I'm telling you, he's not exactly the sanest person in the bunch and honestly, you don't need that kind of drama in your life. I mean, look at you! You haven't slept in days! It's not healthy, Bon. We just want what's best for you." Elena explained, even as Bonnie began walking out of the room. Caroline trailed her, determination lighting her blue eyes. She couldn't keep watching Bonnie suffer over someone who would never be worthy of Bennett tears.

"You can't honestly be upset over this, Bon. You're the one who left Kai in the first place, you should be agreeing with us." Caroline grabbed her arm. Bonnie loved her friends, she'd risk her life to keep them safe. However, just based on how this conversation was going, she was also willing to kill them herself.

"I was hurt, Care! He siphoned from me and I didn't know how to react! He hadn't siphoned from me in years because that's just how much closer we grew to each other. You know the last time he did that to me was four years ago? And he didn't even want to do it, I had to make him do it because his abusive ass father did God-knows-what to him and he had to heal himself! So, yeah, I was hurt that he selfishly took my power without asking. But the rest of that night was just him apologizing to me - so much that I still hear his voice _ringing_ in my ears! He just kept apologizing and holding me and making me feel like..." she trailed off once she'd seen their wide eyes. "I just had to get out of there. I never wanted to abandon him, I just figured he'd be here by now."

"I'd count this as a blessing, Bonnie. Kai has been interfering with your life for too long now, whisking you away to weird places on school nights and keeping you up with his psycho-whining! He's not your responsibility every time he goes off his rocker, Bon, he's crazy, just let him be crazy!" Caroline argued back. Elena sensed the tension beginning to rise and stepped in between her friends, hands raised in surrender. 

"Caroline..." Elena stared at Caroline with wide eyes, silently telling her to chill out. Bonnie didn't even register the interaction, all too wrapped up in their reduction of her and Kai's relationship - whatever they had. Was it fair to say that her caring about what happened to Kai was an interference in her life? If that was the case, she shouldn't be around Caroline and Elena either. She can't help that she cares about Kai, that's just something that she can't get rid of.

"No, Elena, let her get this out. She's probably been holding it in for years." Bonnie crossed her arms, awaiting her friend's next dig. 

Caroline didn't ease up on her anti-Kai pursuit, not even as Elena gave her another warning look. "You wanna talk about holding things in for years? How about this then: you and Kai made out in the storage closet during the freshman year Homecoming dance." Caroline outed accusingly. Elena gasped, turning to Bonnie as well looking like she didn't even know her anymore. "And you didn't even tell me! I had to find out from Tyler, who just so happened to be walking by at that time. I mean, I just don't get it. He spends his entire life being nothing but rude to you, pushing you, teasing you, getting you in trouble and you repay him with your body? You know, Bonnie, this isn't pre-school anymore and when a boy hurts you, it's not cute and it doesn't mean he likes you. It means you should stay away from him and find someone who would treat you with respect. But, I don't know, maybe after all these years you've begun to crave abuse from others." 

Elena tensed. Bonnie glared.

"That's rich coming from you. How's Klaus doing, by the way?" Bonnie asked, knowing just how to get back to her self-righteous best friend. Caroline scoffed, but Bonnie could see right through her facade. Sleeping with Klaus has been haunting Caroline ever since it happened, it was a big grey area over her black and white world and she didn't know how to deal with it like a regular person, so she liked pretending as if it never happened. 

"There's a difference between a meaningless fuck and allowing yourself to be Kleenex for someone."

"I don't know, it seemed like Klaus used you up pretty good." She was starting to get angry and her magic was practically urging her to put it to use. Caroline gaped at her, unsure of how to respond to that statement without calling her a bitch. Elena used the lull in conversation to jump in again.

"We've all made mistakes, alright? We've all liked bad guys, let's not tear each other down for it."

"Don't put my bad guy on the same level as your bad guys! At least, Kai can honestly say he's never killed someone innocent. Can yours say the same?" 

" _Woah_ , I'm just trying to help you out," Elena said.

"I don't need help, I'm fine. I'm not affected by hypocrites who point fingers." Bonnie gave a pointed look to Caroline who looked seconds away from vamping out. Bonnie took that as her cue to leave and she moved to grab her coat and started walking towards the front door without another word. They could make her out to be a naive little girl all they wanted, but they would never understand everything that she and Kai have been through no matter how much they psychoanalyzed her. 

\--

Bonnie paced back and forth in the comfort of her room, eyes locked in on her phone. He hadn't called her back, not even after two very embarrassing and frantic voice messages. Endless scenarios rushed through her brain, an insurmountable plethora of visions involving Kai - his lifeless body somewhere unknown, the terror on his face as he's being kidnapped by an unannounced town enemy, him seeing her call and not being able to answer because he was bleeding out. They were possible things that could happen, she realized, and that thought nearly made her have to empty her guts over the toilet. She could understand if it had been a few minuscule days that he needed to take off, but there was no way he was gone for one week without notice. He wouldn't do something so stupid, she thought as she paced herself into oblivion. They were in no way on the best of terms, but he was Kai and she was Bonnie. That had to count for something.

She threw in the towel as the evening approached, stopping her worried pacing and laying back on her bed. In one swift motion, she shimmied out of her skirt and rested on her comforter in just her tank top thinking about how she was gonna make up with Caroline and Elena. Some mean things were said that no doubt hurt all their feelings, but they've been friends for too many years to be ripped apart by their opinions on the guys they date. 

_But I'm not even dating Kai_ , Bonnie thought to herself. _That's not fair._

The most that has ever happened between them is left in the memories of a dusty storage closet in the hallway of their school and that was just a drunken mistake. She always seems to make drunken mistakes with him. Realizing her mind was going back to its endless loop of Kai memories, she shook herself out of it and tried to focus on things that were far more important - like her friends, her family, and her schoolwork. 

All that did was make her drift off to sleep and dream about what she tried to push to the back of her mind.

\---

_It was her first day of school. The room was bustling with kids that she had never seen before and little Bonnie had been careful enough to hide behind her father's legs as the kids raced around the classroom like a pack of wild animals. She remembered him leaning down on one knee before he left her, instructing her to try and make new friends. She could only nod shyly and cling to him one last time before he left her. Her teacher, Ms. Hoffer, gently took her hand and introduced her to the classroom. She stared in awe as Ms. Hoffer managed to relax the children and order them to sit on the colorful carpet in the front of the classroom._

_"Class, we have a new student. This is Bonnie Bennett." She spoke._

_"Hi, Bonnie!" The class yelled collectively. She smiled. Everyone seemed nice enough, especially the blonde in the front row that was waving frantically and bouncing up and down._

_"See. Looks like you already have a new friend waiting for you. Go on and meet Caroline." She whispered down to her. Bonnie tasseled with her two pigtails nervously as she skipped over to meet Caroline. However, mid-trip, a short leg shot out and knocked her tiny frame off balance. She tumbled to the carpet ungracefully, getting hot with embarrassment._

_"Malachai! Corner!" Ms. Hoffer yelled in the most gentle voice she could muster. Bonnie would never forget looking up at him for that first time. The kid had on jean overalls and a bright yellow shirt with hair swept all over his face. He stuck his tongue out at her and then ran into his designated corner. She hated him already._

\---

_It wasn't until first grade that Bonnie began retaliating against Kai's attacks._

_She was on the multicolored carpet with Elena, building up the lego castle to rule all other lego castles. It was a large mess of random pieces stuck in places they surely weren't supposed to go in, but in the eyes of two companions, it was an architectural masterpiece. Until one angry boy decided to kick their creation until nothing was left of the castle. Elena didn't waste time in getting up and running to get the teacher to deal with it, but Bonnie was shocked and angry. She stayed right where she was on the carpet and glared him down. He had never seen her so angry at him before, so he backed away without so much as a word. Elena saw to it that he was punished accordingly, then decided to engage Bonnie into a Barbie game instead. What she hadn't known was that Bonnie finally felt something snap within her, finally wanted revenge without even knowing how to spell the word._

_The following day, Bonnie still felt this ridiculous feeling in her chest and she knew it wouldn't go away until she had ruined something of Malachai's. So, after she saw how satisfied he was with his finger painting during arts and crafts, she had an idea. She waited and watched as the teacher praised him for his drawing, implying that there was hope for him after all. He smiled innocently, probably not used to hearing such praise, then took off his smock so he could wash himself off with the other kids. Bonnie knew that Mrs. Ripley always took a bathroom break as the kids were washing themselves off, so she took the small opportunity. She stopped Kai from running to the bathroom with the rest of their class._

_"You didn't say sorry," was all she said. Kai shrugged. And with that, she ripped the finger painting to shreds. Kai watched in amusement as she did so, then he was confused as she moved onto the painting next to her and ripped that one too. Bonnie didn't stop ripping art, not even when Kai asked what she was doing. She handed him a few shreds, which he took without question, still standing shocked still in confusion._

_And then she screamed._

_"What's_ wrong _with you?! What are you --" Kai tried to ask, but Mrs. Ripley was back and Bonnie had made herself cry and Kai was holding ripped pieces of other students paintings while his own was perfectly intact. "I didn't do it!" He tried to say, but it was too late. The rest of the class had gathered at the door to see him get sent to the office, all of them sending hateful glares. He took one last glance at Bonnie before leaving the room. She wiped her fake tears away and shrugged at him. He hated her._

\---

_It had been the beginning of freshman year. Bonnie was steaming with anger after Kai had tripped her in the hallways again. Without a doubt, every year, he had managed to trip her on the first day of school. This had been different, though. She was trying to be a different Bonnie, not the girl who would be referred to as Bambi for the remainder of the school year. The kids were already laughing at her as she pushed herself up from the ground. Afraid of people seeing her get misty-eyed, she rushed towards the bathrooms and hid inside._

_Great, she had thought, the first day she learned how to apply mascara and she would ruin it because of her stupid emotions. She fully intended on staying inside the bathroom and wait for the bell to ring until the door pushed open._

_"Bonnie! Are you alright?" Kai asked. She nearly screamed._

_"This is the_ girl's _room!" She pointed accusingly. He rolled his eyes, making his way towards her regardless. "Get out, Kai!" She tried again. He just grabbed her hands in his._

_"What's wrong? I mean, you should've seen that coming, I do it every year. You never react like this." He stated, feigning a look of pure curiosity._

_"I don't want to keep repeating middle school. Everyone called me Bambi - and they weren't even referring to how cute I am," she pouted, "we have to come to some sort of understanding this year. No more tripping me in front of the entire school." She requested. He thought it over comically, resting his hand on his chin and looking off into the distance as if the thought plagued him. Bonnie hit his arm._

_"Alright. What do I get in return?" He asked suggestively, giving her a once over. She made a barfing noise._

_"You can get real." She retorted quickly. Kai continued staring her down, knowing she'd cave eventually. "Fine. I'll let you borrow some spell books." She offered. He beamed, no doubt planning to do some damage of some kind once he got some new spells in his system._

_"Deal. Hug on it?" He asked. Before she could decline, he pulled her into his arms and the familiar stinging sensation of having her magic ripper from her overcame her. She grunted in his hold but didn't push him away because she knew that he liked when she did that. Instead, her hand shot up to grip his hair, hoping that he'd feel half the pain that she did. He groaned back as she tugged on his hair and then dropped his head to her neck. The siphoning came to an abrupt halt as he kissed the side of her neck instead. She pushed him away then._

_"See you at lunch, Bambi." Kai winked as he walked out of the girl's bathroom unnoticed._

\----

Bonnie awoke with a gasp. It's like she just couldn't escape this guy! She settled back comfortably into her bed, staring up into darkness as she tried to make herself go back to sleep.

"Bad dream?" She heard Kai's voice, then thought that she'd begun to actually go crazy. "They weren't dreams, more like memories. Pretty cool, right?"   
Bonnie sat up then and turned to see a dark outline sitting on the side of her bed. 

"Kai?" She asked, still questioning her sanity for a moment. He chuckled. 

"Please, refrain from throwing me into a wall or out the window, I'm super tired." He explained hoping it would save him from being lit on fire. Instead, Bonnie threw herself into him, arms wrapped around his neck and legs straddling his lap. Kai tensed up, unknowing that he was receiving a hug until she let out a relieved sigh. "Well, this is new," he cleared his throat. 

"Where were you?" Bonnie whispered into his neck. Not one to lose an opportunity to hold Bonnie, he wrapped his arms around his midsection and squeezed. He loved holding her, he couldn't believe she was willingly letting him do it again.

"I thought you needed some space. Miss me?" He asked teasingly, but Bonnie was lost in the fact that he was here in the flesh with her, not hurt or in pain and so familiar. She smiled into his skin, loving how warm he was in contrast to her. 

"Not even a little bit," she pulled away to look at his face, "we were about to throw a celebration party, actually. You don't know how many people wanted you gone for good."

He grinned as though she paid him a compliment. "No, I do. But you aren't one of them." He stated. "You like me too much." His hands traveled from her waist to her face, cradling her supple cheeks in his hands. She could barely make out his expression in the darkness of her room, but his eyes were bright. 

"I hate you," she whispered as her own hands moved to grip his shoulders. 

"You wish," he whispered back. Bonnie was grateful that the darkness hid her blushing face, but then she realized that he could probably feel her cheeks heating up, so she pushed his hands away. He leaned into her instead, pressing his forehead against hers, waiting for her permission to break whatever friendship rut they were trapped in. 

"So, why did you hurt that guy?" Bonnie asked instead. He sighed.

"I told you. He gave me a bad vibe. I just wanted to protect you."

"You know I can protect myself." She called bullshit. "Stop lying to me," she pulled her face away from him, but he quickly gripped the back of her neck to move her back in.

"Fine. I hated him. Happy?"

"He didn't do anything to you." Bonnie tried to reason, but she knew that wouldn't matter to him.

"He had his hands all over you." He said as if the answer has always been obvious, which it was, but Bonnie wanted to hear him say it.

"I'm not yours." Bonnie made clear. "We aren't dating, we don't get jealous of other people, we don't get together to eat dinner and cuddle. You don't have rights to my body just because you're jealous." She explained bitterly. Kai frowned.

"Why not? Like, why aren't we dating?" He asked. Bonnie rolled her eyes, she didn't wanna go through this again. "Is it because of the merge? Because you know I've got that shit in the bag." Bonnie really pushed away from him this time.

"I don't wanna hear you brag about killing your sister." The moment they shared was over. She crawled out of his lap and back on her side of the bed. "This is why we could never work. You're selfish and cruel and you just don't care about anything!" She found her skirt on the floor and quickly pulled it back up to her waist, feeling extremely idiotic for jumping on Kai in her underwear. She hadn't even factored the merge into reasons why she wouldn't date him, but it was a cold wake up call. If Kai won the merge, he'd kill his sister, then probably his dad, and then he'd rule an entire coven which he'd probably just use to do his dirty work. He'd be a real-life villain with a clan and all. Did she really want to continue to defend him and stand by his side as he became who he was destined to be? 

"Okay, fine, maybe I am. Maybe I don't care if I kill my fucking sister or anyone else in that house for that matter. Maybe I am cruel and unforgiving and all those other psychology buzz words that make you run back to your stupid friends," he snapped his fingers and the wicks from all of Bonnie's candles lit, casting a dim glow around them. Bonnie could see his face clearly now. "Maybe I don't care about anyone else but you! Does that make you upset? That I prioritize you above everyone else?"

"I can't be with someone like that, it's not healthy," she whispered. Kai walked around the bed to where she sat. She tried her best to avoid looking him in the eyes.

"We can't all be Matt fucking Donovan. Some of us are screwed up, okay? Some of us can never do healthy. Have never even known what healthy felt like to begin with! At least I acknowledge who I am. Isn't that like the first step to wellness or some bullshit? Listen, Bonnie, I don't know what I might do in the future. I just know that I'm not stable without you." He confessed.

"I'm stable without you." She replied. Kai laughed.

"Being bitchy won't get rid of me, you know I love that." He lent down to her level taking her face into his hands. "You are mine, Bonnie. And I'm _yours_. I don't care if you don't know it yet." He pressed his lips to her cheek before she could object. Bonnie closed her eyes and let the moment linger for a while longer. He stopped kissing her and she opened her eyes. "So, how've you **really** been doing without me?" Kai backed away from her and bounced back on her bed. Bonnie lied back as well, perpendicular to him and facing the ceiling. She decided to ignore his bold claims of their relationship and take the opportunity to vent.

"Caroline, Elena, and I had this stupid argument a few hours ago, actually."

"Let me guess. They ganged up on you about some vampire thing." He guessed. Bonnie wished.

"Not about some vampire thing. About you." She glanced at him from the side of her eyes. Kai's easy natured demeanor changed drastically and he looked at Bonnie with an intensity that he didn't have before. She wasn't an idiot, she knew that despite Kai acting like he didn't care what her friends said about him, he secretly hated their opinions and didn't want them to influence her outlook on him. In his eyes, they held the power they had over Bonnie over his head and tortured him with the idea that she would leave him like everyone else had. And he knew that Bonnie would trust their words over his, she had no reason not to, especially after he made an ass out of himself and siphoned from her to hurt an innocent man. She had every reason to lash out, but if Elena and Caroline got involved in their issues, there would be hell to pay.

"I know they only want what's best for me, but...they have funny ways of showing it. I said some horrible things that I wish I could take back. They probably think I hate them or something." Bonnie sniffed. Kai's angry expression softened once he noticed the water racing down her cheeks and into her ears. He moved closer, still not touching her body, but close enough so that she could feel him beside her. He's seen Bonnie Bennett cry handfuls of times, usually at his own doing, but he never thought he'd see her cry over her friends. Maybe she'd finally realize she was too good for them. 

"If they think that, then they've never really known you. You could never hate them." Kai admitted to his dismay. He wished she hated her stupid friends. 

She absentmindedly reached for his hand and held on as her watery eyes stayed fixed on the ceiling. He looked down at their hands wrapped around each other and smiled. That was an improvement if he ever saw one.

"I think we just need a break," Bonnie stated.

"It's alright. I'll be like your fill-in friend. I could go out and buy us some Nicholas Sparks movies and ice cream and we could spend all night gossiping and braiding each other's hair," Kai joked, making Bonnie laugh through her sniffles. "No, really, just say the word and I'll go full on Caroline."

"One of her is enough. I just need you to be you." She whispered, turning her head to face him. His smile told her that she definitely said the wrong thing. "But not _too much_ of you. Nothing purely you. Maybe a nice mix of you and someone else, someone nicer." She quickly corrected herself.

"Anything for you." His tone became flirtatious as his eyes blinked up at her very quickly. She hid her blush under a heated glare.

"Stop that immediately."

"Stop what?" Kai asked teasingly.

"Talking like that."

"I'm not following." He bats his eyelashes innocently.

"Jackass." She murmured. Meanwhile, he was laughing at her annoyance and poking at her side playfully. She hit his arm to stop him. "Can you just promise me one thing?" She asked. Kai sat up on his elbow, turned to Bonnie completely as she struggled to find the words. "Promise that you won't...give up on everything. I know that's what you were doing the other night, running away and stuff. You can't run away from your problems."

"Would you rather I face them like you know I can?" He questioned in reply. Bonnie huffed, then sat up herself. She didn't want him to go on a murder spree, she just wanted him to be normal. Maybe that was asking too much.

"No, I just want you to stop tormenting yourself and everyone around you. All you do is sit around here hating yourself and projecting that on people who didn't even do anything to you! I can't keep hanging around you when you're like that and, honestly, I don't want to. You don't love yourself, you don't think you're good enough, and that way of thinking is making you act so impulsively." Bonnie explained, but he was already turning away from her.

"Psych class must've had a test this week or something. Glad I missed it. How's Tyler, by the way? I hate to say, but I kinda miss making his life miserable."

"Stop changing the subject."

"What am I supposed to fucking say to that? ' _Yes, Bonnie, I hate myself so much that it's affecting your life, so sorry for the inconvenience.'_ How about you stop acting like my therapist and start acting like my fucking friend? I know that merely being in my lowly presence presents a giant moral dilemma in your mind, but maybe once you realize that addressing all my fuckups won't make you feel any better about yourself, you'll actually enjoy life for once." He spat out like he's been holding in those words for a long time. Bonnie recoiled from the blow. "I should get home before one of the twins decide to steal my computer or some shit. See you at school." And then he vanished from thin air. 

Bonnie groaned into her hand and fell back into her pillows. Why couldn't she and Kai ever have a single good day?


End file.
